the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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