What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
