Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
