if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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