he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
and she was petting her beer can
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
