oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
