genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
