His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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