do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
