i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
