Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
