I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
