so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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