There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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