i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
