Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
