she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Two words: blizzard sex
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
