Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
