well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
