What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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