I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Duck Duck Cougar?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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