TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
