I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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