Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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