You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
