so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
