Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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