summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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