I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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