She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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