We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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