i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
pray to the hookup gods
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize