You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
