420 ftw
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
