meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
should my penis look like a turkey
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
