you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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