sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Randomize
