hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
