gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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