marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
