Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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