3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
