Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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