my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize