alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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