you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
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