He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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