Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
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