He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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