Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
