why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
