this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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