1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
