My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wish you could order shots online.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
