I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
