I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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