exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
