yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
