Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
