My sheets look like a crime scene.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
