Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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