I hope mine doesn't look like that
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
