I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
