first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
