why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
