i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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