no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
