That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
